It was a June afternoon in my kitchen. I was alone in my house. I had just put away groceries and was leaning on the dining room table scrolling on social media.

I happened upon an article and read it. The article described a woman whose lover had just come to her and confessed cheating, overcome with guilt over it, and in the story the woman calmly responded, "I see you are in pain, how can I help."

And that's when it hit me. Hard. I felt like I was being pulled around by my hair in my marriage and I didn't like it. It felt like I was always off balance. Like everything was always so big. Like I was quite literally being emotionally "dragged around by my hair."

And I wanted what that woman had in the story.  Bad.

I wanted that calm, centered poise, that objectivity, that "okay-ness" in herself that allowed her to be present for others in her life no matter what was going on - that THRONE. That peace! I wanted it with my whole body, my whole being.

In that moment, I was so moved by all of this that I suddenly heard myself announce to an empty house, "I want to be like that," like the voice didn't even come from me.

Deeper Implications

I didn't realize it at the time - I was still living in so much denial - but that feeling I had about being "dragged around by my hair," and constantly off balance - well, that was because I was in an abusive marriage.

In fact, I was sustaining every kind of (covert) abuse expect direct physical violence - the mental, emotional, and even sexual abuse was there, just not overtly. It was more like a constant just-beneath-the-surface erosion of my value and power.

At that point, I couldn't admit that to myself. I know now it was because I couldn't come to terms with what that would mean about me, so it wasn't even an option I would allow in to consider.

That June day was the day that there was just enough of a crack of an opening in my resistance for my higher self to jump in and rescue me, set me on a different path.

That story, and that feeling I felt when I read it, and me speaking those 6 little words - that was the beginning of an entirely new me and an entirely new life, because, "to be like that," everything was going to have to change - there was a long distance between where I was then and "being like that."

And change it did - over the course of the next ten or so years, all right on time with Pluto transiting my 7th house of marriage and opposing my first house Venus. A once in a lifetime death and rebirth transit that not even everyone experiences in a lifetime, as Pluto takes 280 years to move all the way around the zodiac, or a natal chart.

The north node represents the direction of spiritual growth.  It's what we want to consciously move towards for our soul's evolution.  The north node represents increase, appetite, the future, and destiny.

The south node, exactly opposite the north node and always moving in sync with it, is what we want to consciously release for our soul's evolution.  It's what is familiar and what we have already mastered in past lifetimes, so it can be the "comfort zone hideout" that gets us in trouble when we are too complacent in life.  It's what we know, and there's no growth for us here.  The south node represents decrease and release, the past, and karma (or lessons).  

In your natal chart, the north node and south node placements are a big part of your life map - what you are moving towards and away from on a soul level in this lifetime. 

​The north node and south node in transit in the current moment is speaking to what we are being pulled toward and asked to release collectively right now, and this shifts zodiacal axes every eighteen months, moving backwards around the zodiac.

North node in Aries and the south node in Libra from mid-July 2023 until mid-January 2025 means we are going to have an appetite and desire to embody Aries energy and as we move towards that, we will simultaneously be called to release the Libran shadow as part of the process, learning the lessons of balancing the Aries-Libra axis along the way.

We'll want to self-assert and individualize.  We might feel more impatient and competitive, with the emphasis being more on "me" and "mine."  We may be more headstrong or even hot-headed too.  This could be a time when we want to strike out on our own - what area of life this is landing in for you depends on what area of life Aries rules in your chart.  For example, if you are Cancer rising, Aries would be your 10th house of career, so this might have to do with blazing a trail in your career and going into business for yourself, but if you're Sagittarius rising, Aries would rule your 5th house of children, the inner child, romance, and creative self-expression.

Remember that Chiron is still in Aries, helping us heal that wound to self that might have us doubting our right to exist.  Maybe, up until now, this has kept us playing small to stay safe.  And maybe, as we learn to take up space and be seen and heard, it's a little like learning to drive a stick shift and we're "all over the place," under-doing it, then over-doing it, trying to refine our ability to shift gears smoothly, and what I mean by that quite literally is refining our ability to balance the Aries-Libra axis of self and other so we don't lose ourselves in relationships or become door mats but also don't run over others and become completely and toxically selfish.  

A healthy sense of self is the foundation for a healthy relationship - one in which the total value equals more than the sum of its parts.  That's the lesson of the Aries-Libra axis.  North node in Aries means we are going to have a year and a half to get right with that relationship to self.

With the south node in Libra, we'll want to be consciously aware of the shadow of Libra energy - the codependency, the passive-aggressiveness, the feeling that we must sacrifice ourselves for the relationship, that there isn't room for our needs or feelings to be expressed and heard and important.  That is not the definition of harmony or cooperation.  Libra wants equality, fairness, and healthy relationships.  That begins with a healthy sense of self and individualism - everything the healthy expression of Aries energy wants.  It's not the either-or; it's the AND - there's room for both, for everyone's truth.  There must be.

As within, so without.  When we become more allowing with ourselves, we become more allowing, period, and that means we become more allowing with others.  There's more permission all the way around, because we also have developed our ability to allow, acknowledge, and communicate our own wants and needs more effectively and tactfully, and in the process developed better boundaries.  And better boundaries means we're safe to allow both ourselves and others to have our own stories and our own truths and beliefs, and suddenly there's more harmony, more cooperation, more...relationship.  That means more of the Aries courage, strength, leadership, and healthy individualism can emerge, and we'll feel the need to spend less time in the warrior sign's combativeness, protectiveness, and defensiveness.  That means more energy for inspiration and creativity.

The north node lands in Aries after eighteen months (since January 19th, 2022) in Taurus. 

The north node represents appetite, desire, increase - what we are being pulled toward, and the south node, respectively, represents what we must release in the process of that evolution we're being pulled along the path to. The two work together. 

For the past eighteen months, we've been moving through north node in Taurus, south node in Scorpio.  We've collectively had an appetite for all things Taurus - the Venus-ruled earth sign of indulging the five senses and earthly abundance.  Taurus wants security through material things, to enjoy life through the five senses, to be well-resourced and well-appointed.  And why wouldn't we all be craving that after a few years of pandemic?  But our appetite for the embodiment of the Taurean north node in our lives comes hand in hand with us collectively needing to face and release that Scorpio shadow - the counterpoint on the other end of the Taurus-Scorpio zodiacal axis.

If Taurus is security through material possessions and resources, Scorpio, the deep-diving water sign of the shadowlands, teaches us the lesson that true power and security will never be found through the tangible, it can only found within, and the more we release, the more we will actually receive.  And one of the things we need to release is the need for control.  Scorpio is about the natural cycle of destruction and creation, the cycle of elimination and regeneration, the transference of energy from one form to another.  In short, holding on to rotting food isn't going to get you the luxe abundance you were imagining - and I mean that as a metaphor for many, many things in life.  It's important to know when to let go, and how to let go.  Scorpio teaches about transitions and regeneration.

We're finishing that cycle up now.  How are you feeling with your progress in learning to balance the Taurus-Scorpio axis over the past year and a half?

With the north node now moving into Aries, and the south node into Libra, the soul growth focus is now shifting for us collectively to being about relationships - specifically the relationship of self and other.

The north node will be pulling us towards embodiment of Aries energy - we're going to want to assert ourselves and individualize and go out and conquer on our own and feel strong and capable.  But the south node will simultaneously be reminding us that we cannot forget about the other end of the axis - other.  

We need relationships.  We need others.  We need cooperation.  We want it too!

Healthy relationships only come from a healthy sense of self.  

When we learn to be the healthy embodiment of Aries energy - self-reliant, confident, interdependent (as opposed to independent or codependent), self-assertive (not aggressive),  and authentic - a funny thing happens - all of our relationships start to become more healthy too.  

This is about self-value, self-expression, the ability to have a healthy sense of self and to communicate healthy boundaries with others, and also the capacity to show up as leader (not a dictator).  

Remember the stick shift analogy - this is a learning process for us as a collective over the next year and a half.  There's likely to be some sputtering, accidental kills, and gear grinding along the way.  

Imagine everyone (on varying levels) suddenly having the urge to be more self-assertive but not necessarily being good at it, or conscious of this energetic dynamic at play for the collective (like you are now).  

Beyond what comes up in our personal lives, the north node transiting Aries is associated with an upsurge in things like military operations, and even higher global temperatures, fires, and seismic activity.  

Aries as the first sign of the zodiac is an initiator.  It's energy activates.  So it may seem that suddenly everyone is "hot to trot."  

Things are changing, clearly.  

Pluto is the planet of power, yes, and "Lord of the Underworld."  But Pluto is ultimately a planet of regeneration - of the process of energy changing from one form to another.  It's all energy, and energy doesn't go away, it only changes form.

It's not so much "release," as it is "transmute," and you're the alchemist of your life.  You're the one with the power.

Pluto rules the cycle of destruction and creation, death and rebirth.