When Hating Paves the Pathway to Healing

I hit my limit.  But then something shifted....

"I felt like my body had been hijacked and I could not figure out why. The betrayal I felt by my body kept growing until it finally came out in the car alone that day: I hate you!"

"Screaming I hate you at myself in the car felt about as far off of a pathway to healing as I could get. The last thing I wanted to do was go back home and lie in bed all day. It no longer felt like self-care, it felt like imprisonment. My body wouldn’t even let me do yoga for an hour. But it was all I could do. Nothing was working. Nothing was changing."

"Hate is not a word that frequents my vocabulary, but once I had verbalized it, it actually snowballed into more hate as I judged myself for losing patience, for not being loving to myself, for not keeping a positive attitude. However, at the same time, I felt palpable relief at finally having expressed the truth of how frustrated I was with the situation."
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"A certain healing was set in motion when I gave up trying to be okay with something I just wasn’t okay with. Something shifted."

Read the whole story, When Hating Paves the Pathway to Healing, on Rebelle Society, here.