Venus Retrograde in Gemini: Rewiring Your Self-Worth

As I tossed and turned, desperate to fall asleep, I thought, "...it is hard, hard, hard..." and I heard in reply, "...blessings, blessings, blessings...."  

I thought, "...there is so much difficulty...", and I heard, "...there is so much healing...."

I thought, "...there is so much challenge...", and I heard, "...there is so much opportunity...."

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Every negative thing I thought that night, lying in bed, eluded by sweet slumber, was being reworded into something positive.  

I realized that I was mired in fear and negative thinking, and it was up to me to switch my perspective and the nature of my thinking to focus on the reality I wished to experience. 

I realized that it was up to me to choose what my personal truth would be and to make that my foundation from that moment forward, even if I had to reset it with every new moment.

​I realized that it was up to me, and me alone, to step into my personal power, reclaim my place upon the throne of my heart, and rule with sovereignty in love, wisdom, and certainty, from that solid foundation of my personal truth and belief.  

It comes as no surprise that this late-night revelation occurred as Venus was about to move into Gemini, the zodiac sign that is mutable air (meaning versatility in the mind, thinking, words, and thoughts) and an energy therefore known for helping us to see situations from all viewpoints.

Venus typically only spends about a month in each sign of the zodiac, but every eighteen months this planetary ruler of love and money, named after the Roman version of the Greek goddess Aphrodite, turns retrograde and retraces her steps.  Many times this retrograde will fall on the cusp of two signs of the zodiac, but this time Venus will be in Gemini the entire time, making her total stay in the sign over four months long, which is four times as long as a typical Venus transit.

A retrograde is when a planet appears to move in reverse motion from Earth for a period of time.  During this time, the planet moves backwards over the degrees of the zodiac it has just traversed.  When planets are retrograde, not only do they backtrack over the territory they most recently covered, they do so more slowly.  Then when they resume forward motion, they will move over those same degrees of the zodiac a third and final time. 

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The Sumerian Myth of Inanna's Descent and Venus Retrograde

The Sumerian myth of Inanna’s Descent explains the retrograde journey of Venus.  Venus begins each retrograde journey as an evening star, known as Hesperus.  As the evening star Venus is the goddess of love and beauty (or sex and fertility if you look back to goddesses like Ishtar, Inanna, and Astarte).  During retrograde, when Venus makes the inferior conjunction to the sun, known as "cazimi", it disappears beneath the rays of the sun.  When Venus reappears in the sky, it is as the morning star, known as Lucifer - the goddess of war.  The Sumerians saw this transit as their beloved goddess Inanna on her journey to the underworld.

In the Sumerian myth of Inanna's Descent, Inanna leaves her kingdom in the hands of her consort in order to journey to the underworld to visit her sister, Queen of the Underworld, Ereshkigal, who represents her shadow self (those negative subconscious parts of us we would like to keep hidden – our fears and inner demons).  

Inanna decides to set out on her journey after she "puts her ear to the Great Below" - she becomes conscious of her shadow self.  She dresses in the seven garments of civilization, known as the Seven Me,  sets out on her journey.  The Seven Me are representative of her power in the civilized world and are items that convey her status and position in the world.  They are associated with the seven chakras.  As she descends through the seven gates of the underworld, at each gate, Inanna is asked by the gatekeeper to remove one of her garments to gain entry. Inanna's symbols of status and power mean nothing in the underworld and she is stripped bare.  Vulnerable upon entering her sister's chambers, Inanna is attacked by her sister and left on meat hooks to die.  She is there for three days before her servant’s pleas are heard by God of Wisdom, Enki, and she is restored to life.  

Now having been to the depths of the underworld to confront her shadows, having died and been reborn, she is fierce.  The rules of the underworld require Inanna to choose another soul to replace hers, but she ascends without doing this, and so is harassed by her demons still.  Upon returning home, she finds her consort ruling her kingdom from the throne she has given him, unconcerned with her absence or strife, and in a fit of rage she literally sends him to hell.  

But there is still more to the story.  Inanna chose willingly to go on her journey after becoming aware of her shadow self.  Her consort is unconscious of his shadow self and does not understand her journey.  She arrives home to find him unconcerned about her and she is in possession of her new powers but still harassed by her demons, and when she reacts in the old consciousness but in this new state of being, she sends him to meet his own shadow self.  He is terrified, and so runs, hides, lies, cheats, and steals to try and escape this fate that has now befallen him.  Eventually he is found and carried off to the underworld to meet his own demons.  It is at this point in the story that Inanna realizes her unconditional love for him, and steps into her full power as ruler of both worlds - light and shadow - and reclaims her throne.  Inanna cannot keep her consort from meeting his own shadow or from knowing hers.  Now that she has reintegrated her shadow and is whole unto herself and in her full power, she works a deal so that he spends half the year in the underworld and the other half at her side.  

Inanna leaves her kingdom on a spiritual quest.  She confronts her shadows and fears and then is given new life by her higher self.  Ultimately she has a new consciousness, having one aspect of herself die in order for a new one to be reborn like the Phoenix from those ashes.  She has slain her personal demons, but in the process, she ends up initiating her beloved as well.  Inanna returns to her life whole unto herself, and with knowledge of both her light and shadow, she steps into her power, as ruler of both realms, and reclaims her throne from a place of love and wisdom.

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When Venus is in retrograde, we might notice old lovers or friends suddenly coming back in to our lives, or we might notice old relationship issues coming up to get sorted out.  Retrogrades always are chances to clear karma.  Venus rules love and relationships.  So Venus retrograde can be a fated time in our love lives.  (Particularly if it is making significant aspects in one's natal chart.)

In general Venus retrograde rules are to "just say no" to exes, cosmetic surgery, tattoos, and radical new hairstyles even, and to hold off on luxury purchases and big investments.  

Venus rules love and money, but if we get down to the heart of it, it is our values, and especially our value of ourselves.  

When Venus is backtracking, we are not supported in moving forward or making big decisions about anything that is related to any of these things. We are in review, and because all things associated in our lives with values and love, money, beauty, art, and aesthetics, are in review, we won't be clear in our decision-making at this time.  ​

Venus rules our self-worth, self-love, and values.  Venus' association with love and money actually begins with our sense of self-worth and our love of self, and its rule over the feminine aspect of us and our ability to attract and receive.  Because it is this - our value of ourselves, resulting in our ability to align with what we desire, and then attract it into our lives and receive it - that defines our relationship to love and money, and how we express ourselves in our relationships and out in the world.  

In this excerpt from "I'm Not Here to Be Your Bitch", (from the blog), I talk about the Sumerian myth of Inanna's Descent and how carrying negative beliefs about ourselves erode our self-love and self-worth to the point where we find we are constantly looking outside of ourselves for validation, worthiness, and anything else we think we need.  This is precisely when we give away our power, and find ourselves faced with life circumstances that are just about anything but what we desire.  This is the heart of Venus retrograde!  

"As the Sumerian myth "Inanna's Descent" shows us, (and this describes the astrological cycle of Venus' retrograde, as Inanna was Venus' predecessor), you cannot fully claim your power unless you've confronted the shadow self. We don't stand in our power if we keep trying to disown the darker or maybe not-so-socially-acceptable parts of ourselves.  That betrays our truth and compromises our power."

"And Inanna certainly wasn't going to be someone's bitch.  She journeyed to the underworld to confront her sister who was queen of the underworld (her shadow self) and in her compromised state was attacked by her sister and hung on meat hooks and left for dead.  Her hand maiden (higher self) saved her.  But the underworld had rules and before she would be allowed to leave she had to choose someone to take her place.  Upon finding out that her consort had taken over her throne and was not one bit interested in her well-being, she chose him and sent him to the underworld, reclaiming her thrown and her sovereignty."

"If we work with the negative and limiting beliefs we carry, we find the wounds  where those beliefs were formed which also mark the chinks in our armor where others can trick us into giving away our power.  Our armor is always our self-esteem and self-love.  If we carry a negative belief about ourselves, like "too much" or "not worthy" or "not lovable", then there is a chink in that armor.  Now we are "not enough" as we innately are and therefore we look outside of ourselves for whatever that thing is we think we need."

Gemini rules our mind, thoughts, and communications.  Gemini is mutable air, an energy that thrives on versatility and curiosity.  Gemini supports us in seeing situations from every angle and helps us to see things from other perspectives.  

With Venus retrograde in Gemini, we have a perfect opportunity to review our thoughts and perspectives that affect all things Venus in our lives - self-love, self-worth, values, money, relationships, love expression, how we express ourselves in the word, and how we attract what we value and desire into our lives.  Venus rules our relationship to the Law of Attraction, and how we align with what we value and desire.  To effectively attract that which we desire into our lives, we must be able to match its energetic essence - we must resonate with it.  Venus retrograde is our opportunity to review this part of our lives.