The Diver

A short story based on the astrology of a moon-Pluto opposition with Saturn conjunct Venus in the first house. A metaphorical tale describing the journey within to reclaim self-value, self-expression and personal power.

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She courageously charged into the depths, her small body straight as an arrow; her attention fixed on the destination below.  With determination, she dove deeper and deeper. 

The light above her was dimming.  Her destination was much farther than it looked from above.  She held her breath and pushed downward, kicking hard against the urge to turn and go back toward the light.
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As the dark of the depths closed in around her, she felt the pressure squeezing hard on her body.  Her body had felt so strong and sturdy above, but now it seemed fragile and an inappropriate vessel for this task.  Undaunted, she pressed on.

She became aware of her complete isolation in the cold black and the tentacles of loneliness consuming her.  She could no longer sense any light coming from above her, and could just barely make out the glowing fissure still far below her.

The reality of her utter aloneness on this journey set in.  It was too far; too deep.  It had been a mistake to attempt this.  She knew she wouldn’t be able to continue without air for much longer, but she was too far down to make it back to the surface.

The somber realization that she would not be returning to her life on the surface left her with only one choice:  to keep going.  With fresh resolve she focused on her goal and kicked harder into the abyss.

Although this journey was hers and hers alone, to her surprise, there was help and support near, just invisible to her eyes in the inky cloak.

A seahorse twice as big as she suddenly appeared out of the black, a rainbow of glowing colors.  It towed with it a giant iridescent air bubble.  She eagerly breathed in the air, and found herself able to think more clearly and with renewed determination.  Her life force restored, and the glowing red light of her destination within clear view, she pressed on through the dark with a renewed sense of hope.

The end was in sight. Her destination was SO close.  She was proud of the bravery and strength that had brought her this far.

There it was; the source of her Self, her life, her passions, her emotions and her expression.  It was literally her own fountain of life, but all she could make out was a little crack of red glowing light.  Something was wrong.  Why wasn’t it flowing? 

She swam closer and caught sight of the problem.  There was a huge black boulder lodged on her fountain!  It was immense.  She tried to push on it, but she was tiny in comparison.  She could not budge it.

Suddenly she felt the weight of all of the water above crushing down on her.  She was suffocating.  It was impossible. This is where it would all end.  She had failed all of her loved ones and most importantly she had failed herself.  It was hopeless.  She sank down onto the bottom, heavy with sorrow, her lungs emptied of air. She looked back up in the direction of the surface, but was unable to glimpse any remnant of light.  She sank lifelessly into the icy cold darkness....

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The air rushing into her lungs jolted her back into her body.  She was disoriented…had she blacked out?  Had she died?

She took another breath from the air bubble.  The air bubble!  Her eyes adjusted to the giant seahorse from earlier in her journey watching her closely as her body gently came back to life.

She was enchanted by the menagerie of magical creatures that she saw around her. What they were doing was of even more interest.

She noticed four colossal neon sea urchins, their massive spines held up like scepters, standing guard on the perimeter.

My fountain! She suddenly remembered why she was here.  She turned her gaze just in time to see two gargantuan sea turtles, with thick weathered hides and ancient symbols etched on their shells, heave the boulder from the fountain.  Their ancient wisdom and timelessness was apparent.  Their eyes glowed an soft blue light, and the markings on their shells glowed the same eerie blue against their darker shells.

As she was taking this in, there was a rumble from under the fountain.  Her eyes widened with fear.  She wondered what she had unleashed with this journey.  Maybe she had made a mistake.

The rumble came again, this time louder and more intense.  Suddenly a column of pure golden sparkling light shot straight out of her fountain, reaching up as far as she could see.  The water around her sparkled and glistened with the golden light. 

A strange feeling came over her.  Her body felt warm, even in the cold depths.  She felt a soft buzzing deep inside her belly.  She stared in wonder at how beautiful her light was.  It was amazing!  This light, Her Light, had been blocked, held down, hidden, all of this time.  What amazing treasures had been hidden away down here in the depths!

In her awe she had not noticed that the sea urchins and turtles had disappeared.  Remembering the long journey down, she panicked.  All of this for nothing!  They saved me and they left me!  I have finally found myself and found my freedom and I have been left here to die!

The light did not matter anymore.  Nothing mattered.  She frantically looked around the sparkling waters, lit by the golden column of light shooting up from her fountain, and saw the tiniest seahorse hovering a short distance away.  She swam closer.  It was indeed the very same seahorse who just a short time before had dwarfed her.

The seahorse was positioned by the column of light and did not move.  She looked around, uncertainty engulfing her.  Reluctantly she swam over to the column. 

There was only one thing to do. She summoned her courage, and with one big kick, thrust herself into the golden column.  She was shocked to find the surface right above her!  It had been right there the whole time.  Her fears and doubts had cloaked everything in an illusion of darkness and strife and struggle. 

Her reality now was illuminated by the golden light of her true self.  The sparkling light pushed out all of the shadows and illusions and only allowed what was her authentic self to remain.

She caught an iridescent shimmer on her skin and silently gave thanks to the seahorse, turtles and sea urchins – she realized now they had only been parts of herself that came forth to help her on this journey to freedom. 

And then a tiny, knowing smile crept across her lips.  She now knew that the magic wasn’t the amazing creatures she had encountered, but she herself.  Those creatures were part of her, but she now saw that SHE was the Magical Creature, who had just completed a magical journey to remove any obstacle that might keep her from shining her golden light.  She smiled, knowing she had set herself free and nothing would ever block her light again.

Published in the September/October of E.P.I.C. Magazine